Lots of us have a mental picture of what successful is; how it looks, sounds, and feels, and for many that includes that we have to be perfect. We feel that we need to be perfect parents, perfect siblings, be in perfect health, be a perfect weight and have perfect relationships.
Let me tell you right here and now, that this is simply not true! If these are the kind of thoughts you allow yourself to have, then you are setting yourself up for failure and there really is no need.
What makes us unique individuals are our imperfections. Don’t spend every moment regretting the things which you can’t do, instead enjoy every minute being the person you are right now, today, this moment. It is much better to be authentic and true to yourself and your needs, to accept your limitations and to stick to the values you hold, than to model yourself on others who appear to have it all. Believe me when I tell you that each one of us has imperfections, even the rich and famous.
Don’t keep beating yourself up just because you haven’t achieved all the things you wanted to in life – some of you might even be feeling that life will never be the same again, that you will never get yourself back to a place where you will be happy.
The only certainty in life is change, especially when living with long term health issues. Priorities change, and they are constantly changing. What is important to you today may not be so important next week/month/year. It’s useful to keep reminding yourself that everything passes, even bad pain days. Take time to think about the positive things which are going on in your life today, things you can feel truly grateful for; your children, your family, your work, your hobbies, your friends, your pets.
Remember that opinions others hold about you are just that – opinions – not facts. You do not need to have the approval of others to be self confident, successful and happy. If you find yourself in a situation where someone is upsetting you by their actions or their words, walk away. Negative people are often driven by their own insecurities, so step back and ask yourself, “what is the truth here?”, you might get some surprising answers popping into your head! You have an absolute right to surround yourself with positive people who support you, so stand your ground and do what is best for you.
Be your own best friend, look after yourself, talk nicely to yourself. Relax when you need to, sleep when you are tired, have a gentle day when you are in pain and eat from a rainbow of colours on your plate at each meal.
Get used to accepting yourself, because you are perfectly imperfect, just as you are!
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